


two idiots, one date

by trashy_cas



Series: two idiots [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, also an aquarium, because why not, definite overuse of the word dumbass, dorks go on dork dates, i'm sorry i used the sugamom meme again, it's fun i promise, sugamom, zoo dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashy_cas/pseuds/trashy_cas
Summary: For their very first date, Kageyama and Hinata go to the zoo. General dorky shenanigans ensue.





	two idiots, one date

**Author's Note:**

> well, i'm back. lol.  
> this is a pretty cookie-cutter kagehina date fic but i mean i had a blast writing it so here ya go  
> special thanks to @MadamRed! thank you so much for suggesting this, i had so much fun with it! <3

“A date. A date. A date, a date, a date _a date_ …”

“Ugh, big brother! You’re being loud again!” Hinata pauses and sees his little sister at his bedroom door, her face scrunched up in annoyance.

He flings himself onto his bed dramatically. “I can’t help it, Natsu. The world is ending soon.”

She makes a running head start from the doorway and lands straight on his stomach, laughing. “You’re so silly. The world isn’t gonna end just because you have a  _daaaate_ with your  _booooooyfriend_.”

Wheezing, Hinata pokes Natsu in the cheek. “Don’t you have any ideas about what we can do?”

She thinks about it for a moment. “Ooh! How about you catch dragonflies? Me and my friend did that the other day, and it was really fun!”

“Hmm…no.”

“Swimming!”

“Next.”

“Volleyball?”

A pause. “But we do that everyday, Natsu,” Hinata says glumly, which is kind of an odd feeling. Sadness and volleyball should not be on the same plane of existence. “Will it still be special?”

_It’s volleyball, right? It’s always special, no matter the day._

_He just doesn’t know if it’s necessarily good date material…_

“I dunno,” Natsu says, after hard deliberation.

He tugs at the little baubles in her pigtails with a groan. “Thanks a lot, Natsu.”

“You’re welcome, Shouyou.” She elbows her way off his stomach, earning her another indignant huff. “Ask Mom instead!”

~

“Hey, Suga-san?”

Suga looks up from his desk, surprised. It’s very unlike Hinata to show up in the third years’ classrooms, if the familiar way he’s clutching his stomach is any proof.

Still, Suga is never one to turn down a cry for help, especially since he's grown rather fond of all the first year volleyball boys (even Tsukkishima). “What’s up, Hinata?”

Hinata’s eyes dart all over the room, as if searching for eavesdroppers, or perhaps an angry Kageyama. “I, uh…well…I have a…”

Suga nods encouragingly.

“I have a date,” Hinata whispers like he’s going to be sick. “And I don’t know what to do.”

He blinks, surprise flitting through his gray eyes for a moment. Then, he smiles.

(Hinata wonders how Suga-san can look so nice, but at the same time also look like the cat that just ate the canary).

“A date, huh?” he says, all cheery-like. “Well. Let’s see…”

“I was thinking that we could play volleyball! Or maybe go for a run?” Hinata stutters out. Suga doesn’t respond, brows knitted deep in thought.

“...Or something?” he finishes lamely.

Then, his senpai snaps his fingers, beauty mark next to his eye dancing. “How about something you both enjoy? Like…”

Hinata perks up. “Like volleyball?” 

Suga smiles. “Maybe something else. What do you like to do in your free time?”

He thinks. Before school, he has practice. During school, he mostly thinks about how or where or when his next spike is coming (and, by extension, where his new boyfriend-teammate-partner is). After school, he has more practice. After practice, he goes home, eats, avoids homework, and goes to bed with thoughts of volleyball.

Volleyball, volleyball, and more volleyball.

Heck, even meeting Kageyama was because of volleyball. 

Hinata groans, pressing his hands into his face. “There’s literally nothing but volleyball.”

With a laugh, Suga says, “How about Kageyama? Is there anything he likes? Other than you, of course.”

This whole dating business is way harder than he thought it would be. Hinata tries to think about everything he knows about Kageyama.

He likes volleyball, obviously. Hopefully, he likes Hinata more than he lets on. He likes milk and beating Hinata at everything and receiving compliments from their senpai and being number one (although Hinata obviously likes that way more than him) and trying to pet small animals (unfortunately, the small animals don’t seem to like him as much).

Hinata relays as much of this as he can to Suga-san, who thinks for a moment.

Then, he smiles, face all lit up like a Christmas tree.

“How does the zoo sound?”

~

_This is a bad idea._

Really, Kageyama should have known, from the moment Hinata brought up this…whole date thing. Whatever.

_“Hey, Kageyama! For our date, I was thinking we should go to the zoo!”_

_"Why the fuck would you want to go to the zoo?"_

_"O-obviously because it's super fun, you meanie! And all the animals and stuff are in cages, so they can't run very far away from you!"_

The conversation hadn’t really progressed past that point. (Hinata had been too busy fleeing).

But here he is now, as promised, eleven-thirty sharp, at the gates of the local zoo. He shoves his hands into his pockets and tries to look as nonchalant as possible.  _It’s just a date. With Hinata. What could go wrong?_

“Hey, Bakageyama!”

He turns and sees Hinata’s trademark hair bobbing excitedly, and elects to ignore the swooping sensation in his stomach. “You’re late,” he says instead, by way of greeting.

Hinata pouts a little, mouth turned up in a way that Kageyama would almost call adorable if it weren’t for the person it belonged to. “It’s not my fault! I had to watch Natsu this morning, and the trains were running late.”

“It’s still my win.”

“You suck, you know that?”

They bicker as they make their way to the ticket booth, and then it’s a race to see who can pay the bewildered man behind the window first. Kageyama wins, thankfully (long arms really are a blessing sometimes).

Once past the entrance, they stroll around the gift shop, near a snow-cone stand, and up to the large billboard-map with a little red dot that reads YOU ARE HERE. With two wins under his belt (arriving first and ticket buying first), and a not-cute-at-all spiker pointing excitedly at all the labeled enclosures beside him, Kageyama could almost say that this might not turn out to be so bad after all.

“Oi, are you listening? I think we should look at the bird exhibit first! Maybe they have crows!” Hinata says, eyes shining.

Kageyama snorts. “Dumbass. There are crows everywhere. If you wanted to see one, you should’ve gone to a garbage dump.”

“ _You’re_  a garbage dump.”

The  _aviary_ , as it’s apparently called (Hinata reads the sign, eyes squinted), is not actually a garbage dump. In fact, it’s quite interesting, with all kinds of colorful birds perched in the trees, the occasional twitter or caw or some other noise ringing throughout the enclosure.  

Hinata leans over the railing, face a few feet from the perimeter of the cage. “Look, Kageyama! That one kinda looks like a crow!”

“That looks literally nothing like a crow.” 

“It has black feathers, doesn’t it?”

“I mean, I guess.”

They move onto the next cage.

“Ooh, an owl. It kinda looks like Bokuto-san!”

“Huh.”

“We should take a picture and text him!”

Kageyama flicks Hinata in the forehead. “Do  _not_ bother one of Japan’s top spikers with your bullshit.”

Wincing, Hinata puts down his phone. “Alright, alright. Geeze.”

Next up are the monkeys. Kageyama looks in interest at the orangutan enclosure, and nudges Hinata with his elbow. “Hey, they have the same color hair as you do.”

Hinata nods. “Yeah, but I’m a lot more handsome than a monkey, though.”

_Yes, you are._

“No, not really,” Kageyama says.

“Shut up!”

The rest of the day continues like this, with various insults and back-and-forths. Really, it’s like any normal day, minus the volleyball, plus few more animals. Most of said animals don’t even run away from him, which is nice (he refuses to think that it’s because Hinata is with him).

By the time lunch rolls around, Kageyama could almost say that dates aren’t so bad after all.

The universe acknowledges him shortly afterward when the sky begins thundering. Dark clouds gather in the distance, the wind picks up a little, and families begin to glance at the sky worriedly. Kageyama turns away from the penguins and asks, “Was it supposed to rain today?”

Hinata looks up from his popsicle and shrugs, lips ringed with blue. “I didn’t check the weather.”

Kageyama presses his fingertips into his temples. “So you knew we were going to spend the entire day outside, but didn’t bother to check if it was going to rain.”

“It’s just a little water.”

As it turns out,  _just a little water_  begins to escalate into  _a whole shitton of water_. The sky cracks open, rain pouring from the clouds in literal sheets, so Kageyama is forced to grab Hinata’s stupid hand and run towards the sanctuary of the small aquarium.

“I’m really sorry, ok?” Hinata pants, hands braced on his knees. Kageyama tries to catch his breath before taking a half-hearted swing at him.

“Dumbass,” he says, wiping water from his forehead. “You should have checked the weather.” He takes another steadying breath. “Dumbass,” he says again, because he can.

“Aghhhh dumbass, dumbass, dumbass. Is that the—” Hinata gulps more air, gasping “— the  _only_  word you know?”

They gather themselves for another moment or two in the darkness of the aquarium, and then—

“ _Wow_...” Hinata whispers.

Kageyama looks up and sees enormous tanks of water, spanning the width of the room and set into the walls. Each are full of eerie, colorful fish, neon coral, fluorescent hues of green and red and purple, filling the room with an ethereal glow.

“This is so cool!” Hinata squeals, and he dashes towards the nearest tank, fingers trailing along the glass. “Just  _look_ at all of them!” Before Kageyama can say anything more, Hinata begins to run, one hand still smearing droplets of water against the tank, the other splayed out freely, as if he were about to hit a spike.

He runs and laughs and jumps and sings—and all Kageyama can do is stare. Stare and stare and stare.

(Blue water and orange hair and pale hands stretched free, like he’s flying).

Finally, reality hits him. “Oi, Hinata! You’re getting the glass all dirty, you little—!”

Hinata, having made one complete loop from one end of the room to the other, simply pulls Kageyama along. “Let’s go, Bakageyama! There's probably more!”

“Still, that doesn’t mean you can act like a monkey!” Kageyama hollers back, voice unsteady.

They run wildly, hand in hand, through the nearly empty hall, ignoring the pounding rain and the annoyed stares. Kageyama feels like he’s hanging on for dear life to some kind of lifeline, which is stupid, really, because Hinata’s hand is not a lifeline and is actually really sweaty and still wet with rain.

“Kageyama! Look at the jellyfish!” Hinata says, pointing his free hand at the archway above them. “The ceiling  _is_  the fishtank! How cool is that?”

“It’s pretty nice, yeah—HEY DUMBASS, don’t push me!”

Finally, they reach another tank, a little ways off from the main hall, and Hinata slows down. This tank is the largest yet—and the most beautiful, Kageyama thinks. He’s not entirely sure if it’s because the room itself is a little darker, or perhaps the fish here are a little brighter.  _Weird._

He turns to Hinata to tell him something—what, he’s not entirely sure—when he notices the pale blue light encircling them, reflecting off the planes of Hinata’s face, turning the water droplets in his hair and— _holy shit, his eyes_ — into starlight.

A short breath escapes him, which has nothing to do with the rain, or their run through the halls of a half-empty aquarium.

“Wow…” Hinata says, for the second time, face turned upwards towards the blue, blue light.

Kageyama looks at him for a moment, face feeling a little warm.

“Wow,” he agrees.

Then he turns and steps forward before Hinata can see his burning cheeks, eyes as close to the glass as he can get. He closes them, gives himself a moment to regain his composure. 

_It's just some stupid fishtank. Nothing weird about it._

But behind his eyelids, he sees not blue, but orange. Not fins, but wings.

After a heartbeat, he opens his eyes, and screams.

“ _What_?  What is it? Is it a shark?” Hinata asks, surging forward, just as Kageyama stumbles backwards. They both hit the ground, Kageyama’s back pressing Hinata’s chest against the floor, the latter’s elbow jabbing painfully into the former’s head.

“Jesus,” Kageyama groans. “Watch where the fuck you’re going, you idiot.”

“Well, if you hadn’t yelled like a big baby then maybe we wouldn’t have fallen!” Hinata wheezes back. He shoves Kageyama off of him. “What did you even see, anyway?”

With a groan, Kageyama sits up, gingerly testing out his limbs. “I dunno, some kind of fish?”

Hinata springs up and marches up to the tank, determined to find the source of their distress—and begins to dissolve into a fit of hysterical giggles.

“ _That_? That’s what made you all scared? What a baby—not even Natsu would scream that loudly!” He wipes a stray tear from his eyes. “Aah, you’re so stupid, Bakageyama.”

Kageyama, never one to take such a blow to his pride, stands up indignantly. “It was way scarier than… whatever that thing is!” he spits, jabbing a finger at the offending fish. “It was really small at first! And then it, like, blew up or something!”

“How does it even do that?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

They end up scouring the entire room for some kind of label or sign that can help them identity the mysterious fish—and they find it.

“Apparently, it’s a puffer fish,” Hinata reads, traces of laughter still in his voice. “‘ _When threatened, the puffer fish often fills its stomach with water as a defense mechanism, exposing its poisonous spines, which act as a deadly poison._ ’” He glances at Kageyama slyly, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “Your face is so scary even the fish freak out when they see it.”

Kageyama figures that Hinata may have the reflexes of a crow, but he must not have the survival instincts of a puffer fish, because he’s seriously asking for an ass-beating. “Hinata, you…”

“But!” Hinata continues brightly, not even noticing the danger. Almost against his will, Kageyama halts his attack and listens.  _He knows that tone of voice_.

_He's going to say something really stupid, isn't he?_

“Even if the ball was a puffer fish," Hinata says, "—even if it was poisonous and gross and scared of your face, if you set it to me, I would spike it!” He places both hands on Kageyama’s own, eyes aglow, fingers warm. “Because, remember?  _If I’m here, you’re invincible!_ ”

Kageyama just stares blankly, not quite registering.

When he finally does, he realizes that he is no longer capable of intelligent speech.

So instead, curls his long fingers over Hinata’s smaller ones ( _they fit perfectly_  he thinks distantly), and wonders how the hell he can feel so strongly for someone so…so…

“You’re so stupid,” he says, almost in awe.

And before Hinata can protest (Kageyama can see it coming; the indignant flush of his cheeks, his mouth opening slightly to retort back), he bends down and kisses him, right then and there, on his stupid face, in the middle of the world’s stupidest aquarium full of stupid poisonous puffer fish and stupid blue lights that make everything look weird and a  _fucking stupidly cute_ _boyfriend_.

He steps away, and notes, with a sort of detached sense of satisfaction, that they're both really kind of screwed.

“Dumbass,” he says; this time, perhaps, a little softer.

~

“Hey, Hinata. How did your date go?”

“Oh, it went great! Thank you so much for your advice!”

“No problem! I’m glad it went well. Whatcha reading there?”

“It's a book on marine biology! Tsukkishima said he didn't care if I borrowed it."

"That was nice of him."

"Ooh, Suga-san, look here! Did you know that there is enough poison in a puffer fish to kill 30 people?”

“Um. That’s nice, Hinata.”

“Ahhh, man. I want to spike one.”

“Spike what?”

“A puffer fish!”

“Eh?”

**Author's Note:**

> ngl, this entire mess was lowkey structured around the thought "hinata wants to spike a puffer fish." i'm not entirely sure either lmao  
> also i realized all before, during, and after while writing this that this fic has the exact same plot as my last kagehina fic (part of this series actually if ya feel so obliged), but oh well. 'twas fun.
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/chubsthehamster) and [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/trashycaswrites). Always open to yell about kagehina or haikyuu in general lol


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